Some of us actually tell these lies to ourselves every other day of the week.
So, you all know that kind of unplanned situation you sometimes find yourself and just to make yourself feel good, you lie to yourself and move on, but three days later, you are back at that same unplanned yet hilarious situation, and again, the lies comes rolling in.
Here are 5 hilarious lies we tell ourselves.
I Am Never Going To Get This Drunk Again
I think I can say most party people out there have found themselves in this kind of situation. So you are at this party and you keep downing the wine that just miraculously keep popping up your way, maybe, due to its sweet nature or that conversation you might be having with a hot girl/boy, you unknowingly exceed your limit, and suddenly the toilet becomes your best friend.
You begin to hear statements like, ‘Lord, if you can get me out of this situation without embarrassing myself too much or making me die from too much vomiting, I promise never to drink/drink so much again.’ Yeah, you know that situation right…..3 days later,there you are turning up at yet another party doing the exact same thing.
I Am Not Going To Cuss Out Anyone While driving
This gets me every time. You hear some people who maybe are just leaving church, or a spiritual gathering promising never to cuss at any one while driving, no matter how frustrated they might be, alas, the words just start rolling off your lips the minute you start your vehicle. But really how do you want to achieve this in a place like Lagos where everyone driving seems to be out to get the next driver. You tell yourself you won’t cuss, the next minute, you cuss out someone’s entire generation and its next in less than a minute.
You hear words like, ‘And I have promised myself I won’t cuss today (In your head) Oga, you must be mad, did you not see me traficatting?’ Or words like, ‘Oya sleep on the road now, since it looks like you have arrived home and have packed in you garage.’
Its my cheat day, I can have Chocolate, Ice-cream or any other fattening food.
This majorly relates to the weight watchers. Even I have had days I fell a victim. In as much as you try to stay fit and trim, there will be days you just go beyond the limit.
You hear words like, ‘I am just going to eat this one cup of ice cream, will work off the calories later tonight.’ Huh, its night time, time to work out, yeah, will just walk more on my way to work instead of driving or taking a cab…lies child. That workout session isn’t going to happen in the next five years.
I am on a diet
Again for the weight watchers. Some actually start out great but the next day, you hear…hmmm, will start watching what I eat starting from next week. I already started eating junks this week, let me continue that way for the rest of the week, will start eating healthy from next week. Huh, tell that to your shirts and pants who have to put up with the extra folds of fat in your body.
I Am Going To Have sex With My Husband At Least 4 Times A Week
This is for the married ones, we all know we do this. Some of us, before getting married, we make this promise that once we get married we will at least try to have sex with our husband 4 times a week. I want to believe this promise was made while you were still trying to get the ring, wanting to feel all cute and all, or before you had a baby, because ladies…..lies child, lies!!!! Getting it going twice a week might be like a huge achievement for months on end.
Know of more lies we tell ourselves? Let us know on the comment section.